When God is late.

"When the people realized that Moses was taking forever in coming down off the mountain, they rallied around Aaron and said, “Do something. Make gods for us who will lead us. That Moses, the man who got us out of Egypt—who knows what’s happened to him?” So Aaron told them, “Take off the gold rings from the ears of your wives and sons and daughters and bring them to me.” They all did it; they removed the gold rings from their ears and brought them to Aaron. He took the gold from their hands and cast it in the form of a calf, shaping it with an engraving tool.The people responded with enthusiasm: “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up from Egypt!”

Exodus 32:1-5 (The Message)

Time management is not my forte. I see watches as fashion accessories primarily, with their time keeping function as a nice afterthought. The clocks on my phone and my Mac are both set 17 minutes fast. I know this because I wait 17 minutes, and then leave my house, subsequently arriving at least 5 minutes late for lectures, meetings and any other potentially important events in my life. (Hint: setting a clock fast to make sure you're on time doesn't work if you just adjust your schedule to the actual time because you know the clock is fast).

Peversely, I am impatient and I hate waiting. Not so much for other humans, (of course not, that would be too hypocritical :-)), but definitely for God.

Example: It's a rainy Monday morning, I've arrived 5 minutes late (as usual), and missed my bus because I decided that 5 minutes extra sleep was clearly more important than getting to the hospital clinic on time. Cue prayer: 'Dear Jesus, sorry I'm late again, please send a bus soon so that I don't get into trouble, I promise to be on time tomorrow, I wasn't out late last night drinking/fornicating/insert typical university sin of choice.. I was just tired...therefore, please be merciful'.  I wait for 2 minutes. I tap my feet. I look at the bus timetable (which clearly states that had I been here 7 minutes before, I would be on a bus.) Honestly, what is taking God so long?  I look up at the sky incredulously. 'Erm God..I prayed for a bus?'

So perhaps a bit of ridiculous example, but you get my point. I pretty much expect instant answers to my prayers. I want what I want, exactly how I want, and at exactly the right time. Because God is supernatural, right? He's outside of time, right? So why should I wait?

Let's look at a more serious example that's probably closer to home. You're getting to THAT age.  You know, THAT age. The age where your friends are starting to ask you to be a bridesmaid/groomsman. The age where every few weeks facebook announces that 'Jimbob and Bonquisha are engaged' . The age where the more senior members at church are starting to ask you if you have a 'special friend', and reassure you that you are on their prayer list.

Cue Jamal. Jamal is tall,dark, handsome, funny, edgy (whatever that means), and attends your local  church. What could possibly be wrong? One thing.

The fact that God has not chosen him for you. I repeat. The fact that God has NOT chosen HIM for YOU. You don't care though. You're fed up of waiting. God is clearly taking his time, so you are determined to make this thing work. This situation is fairly common. Unfortunately, too many people realise the mistake they've made after it's too late to back out. It's sadly probably one of the reasons recent Barna group surveys show that the Christians and non-Christians have near equal divorce rates.

The point of this isn't marriage or relationships though. This applies to any area of your life where you choose to create a God for yourself - something that you are willing to put in place of God's will in your life, because you cannot trust that God is fulfilling all your needs in his time. Maybe it's a job that requires you to work on Sabbath instead of waiting on God to supply your financial needs. Maybe it's a group of friends that are a negative influence on you spiritually, but you aren't prepared to adjust relationships because you're scared of being lonely. Maybe it's a 'more than friend' relationship that you are using to supply your need for intimacy instead of allowing God to control that area of your life. I don't know what/who your gods are, but I definitely know what mine are. 

I do know though, that when God saw the children of Israel making a subsitute god out of a comparably worthless piece metal because they were fed up of waiting, he wasn't only angry, he was deeply upset. He felt betrayed. He felt hurt. In fact, while they were making other gods, he was painstakingly working on their behalf to provide them with direction though his law, and to reassure them that he was the same God who had brought them out of Egypt. They just couldn't wait.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil,to give you a future and a hope."~ Jeremiah 29:11

God has so many beautiful plans for our lives, better plans than we could hope for ourselves. I know for myself, there are many times I have stepped away from the path God has planned for me because I thought there was something else that could fill me. I just wasn't convinced God's way was best or that he was getting the timing right, so I decided to make some slight modifications. I'm learning (finally) that unbelieveably, God cares about me more than I care about myself.

I cannot claim that you will understand everything this side of heaven. I cannot reassure you that God's plans will not at times feel painful. In the wilderness God seemed to the Israelites late, absent, or even indifferent, but the same God that led them out of Egypt, and through the desert, also led them to the promised land. I think that's a promise that we can hold on to as well.

Blessings homeslices x

Yarn Braids 101

Yarn Braids are super popular at the moment. They are a great alternative to braiding with synthetic hair, and they are super light and really natural looking. I've done them a couple of times before, and they're becoming one of my go to protective styles simply because the lightness of the yarn means less stress is places on my hair, and the texture means that I can get away with faking dreadlocks, not to mention, a ball of yarn can cost as little as £1, so it's a win in situation.

They are really simple to do, just cut the yarn to your desired length and braid in a similar way you would to box braids.

Key tips:

• Don't braid too tight
• Use only acrylic yarn NOT wool
• Once they're in, moisturise daily with a conditioning spray that has water, glycerin, conditioner etc in it.
• Make sure you moisturise the whole length of your hair.

Here are some pic of my latest set:

 (Excuse my lack of groom-ed-ness, it was late)

Peace, love and (non-petroleum) hair grease lovelies! x

How to Henna/Indigo Natural Hair

Sorry for the hiatus guys! I'm back with some tips :-)

Henna is a natural herb that is great for providing strength, colour and thickness to natural hair. 

I just finished henna'ing my hair, and I can already feel that my hair is stronger and thicker, so I thought I'd share how I did it.

You will need:

1) 50 grams Indigo (Black Henna)

2) 50 grams Henna (this is the brand I used)

3) Half a pot of Greek Yoghurt (plain)

4)A capful of Apple Cider Vinegar (or any other vinegar, or lemon juice)

5)A tablespoon of honey

6)200 ml of green tea/ water

7)A plastic fork

8)A plastic container

Method:

1. Tip the indigo and henna into the container
2. Add the half pot of yoghurt
3. Add the capful of vinegar
4. Stir vigorously until a thick paste is made
5. Add the green tea or water gradually to ensure the mixture doesn't get too runny
6. Add the honey

It should end up looking something like this:

(I got this image from google images via fotki.com)

Leave overnight/ for four hours for the dye to release

Wash and condition your hair.

Part your hair into four or more section, and apply the henna paste (use gloves if possible!). You don't need to comb it through, brush it through or anything. It should be too thick to do that anyway.

Cover your hair with a plastic bag/cap.

Leave in for 3 hours or so, less if you want less dye release.

RINSE, RINSE, RINSE, RINSE!

Deep condition after as henna can be drying. (With a protein free condish)

You might want to put some shea butter around your hair line to prevent the dye from staining your forehead :-)

Hope this was helpful.

Peace, Love and Hair Grease my lovelies! xx

Beauty

Clara Aker Benjamin. I just love this photo :-)

"Is that all YOOOUURR hair?????"

If you’re black, female and alive on this planet, you’ve been asked this question at least once. “Is that yooouuurrr hair?”. You’ve probably been asked this question by (in order of frequency) :

1)other black women, 

2)black men 

3)your non-black friends.

For some reason, this question has always bothered me. Now, don’t get me wrong - I’m a hypocrite. I’ve definitely asked this question several times before, and I’ll probably continue to do so, but it doesn’t stop the slight annoyance every time someone asks ME.

I recently went out on a limb, did something slightly out of character, and bought an afro wig. (see last month’s solitary post.. (sorry guys :-(). About 2 weeks ago, I attended a fairly large church event and kept getting compliments from other people on my hair. (Or not my hair, as the case may be). Each time, I would smile, say thank you, and whisper surreptitiously “It’s not mine..”. After a couple of rounds of this, one of my close friends berated me…”Shade, stop telling people it’s not yours...it looks so real no one would ever guess, and you bought it, so it’s yours!”. She might be right, and I thought about why it was I felt so compelled to tell people it wasn’t my hair.

I think a small part of me just feels slightly, well….deceitful..It’s almost like hair is something that you put work into, and cultivate, and GROW, and so when people compliment you, they’re not complimenting only the hair, but also the trouble you’ve taken to get it to look fly..So, when all I’ve done is popped a wig on, it feels slightly strange to accept a compliment for that. Plus, I feel like it’s easier to offer what you know the person is already looking for. I know you want to know if it’s real or not, so to prevent the awkwardness of the question, I’lll just offer the info instead.

Forgetting that though, when I’m wearing my real hair, I’ve begun to feel increasingly more irritated by that question. Like, is it really your business if it is or isn’t? What difference does it make to you? Especially when the question is followed by ‘where are you from?’..as if to say ‘what non-African blood do you have in you to get your hair that way?’. Those are the times when I wish I was 100% pure blooded (if there’s any such thing) West African, just so I can crush that silly idea that it’s easier to have ‘good’ hair if you’re more mixed.

And don’t get me started on when the question is accompanied by an unsolicited petting of the hair. *rolls eyes*

I guess I would just prefer if people asked ‘how did you get your hair like that?’ instead of ‘is it REEEAAALL??’. There’s something a little less abrupt, less confrontational and less….well...nosey…

What do y’all think?

Peace, Love and Hair Grease xx

Friends with benefits

There was film out fairly recently called 'Friends with Benefits'. I haven't seen it, but the plot (from my Wikipedia search) is fairly predictable. Guy, girl. Don't want a relationship. Want sex. Add sex to friendship. Realise this is complicated/not-doable.  I didn't bother to read to the end.

It happens a lot nowadays, apparently. It's definitely not my cup of tea, and I don't think I would recommend it to any of my friends. I want something more lasting than that, something more meaningful, and definitely something with a lot more commitment and stability. Deep down, I think that's what most of us are looking for from our relationships and friendships. Commitment, stability, loyalty, fulfillment, love. We expect it from others, we're disappointed when they let us down and don't fulfil that and unfortunately, we sometimes let them down as well.

When I began to think about the idea of 'friends with benefits', i realised that it wasn't just about sex per se. It's the idea of having something that should be the reward of commitment and loyalty  without having to put in the effort that those two things require.

How many of us treat our relationship with God that way?  We want the benefits that come from being a Christian. We want to claim the promises. More specifically, we want God to bless us with temporal things that we see as most important -a job, a spouse, good grades, friendships, happiness, but we don't want to make the commitment of a 'marriage' to him.

Marriages take time, work, effort. They involve communicating with the other person, considering them in your actions, because you realise that you can't just live for yourself anymore. They involve going through tough times together, crying, struggling, and working through issues. They sometimes involve pain.

Then there are the good bits - laughter, love, fulfilment - the feeling of partnership that means that you know that you're part of an inseparable team that can take on anything that's thrown at it. Building together, growing together, creating memories and looking back on times you've shared.

The crux of the matter is, no good marriage only has good times. But friends with benefits can't provide the same fulfillment as a marriage. 

God has a special place in his heart for each of us. He doesn't want to be a friend that gets called once in a while for when we want something. He wants a proper relationship with us.

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned. Songs of Solomon 8:7

Love is so much stronger, bigger and better than a fleeting friendship. I'm praying that God helps me experience a real relationship with him.

Blessings x

Review: La Jay Wig, Vanessa

SO I got this wig. which is crazy because I dont wear wigs. However, it looks very natural and rather amazing if I do say so myself, so I'm gam. Here is a picture.

It was from www.wigsnweaves.co.uk.
When I first got it it was long and veeerrry curly, so I trimmed it and also finger combed it to make it more afro-y and frizzy and generally more natural looking.

I get a bunch of compliments on it (not that I live for those), and most people can't tell it's not my real hair. Even other black women, which surely is a good sign.

Pros:

• Good protective style
• Fairly cheap
• Natural looking
• Not human hair (the idea of human hair grosses me a little)
• Easy to use

Cons:

• Seems to be getting tangled at the back near my collar.
• It is called 'LaJay'.

I give it a 4.5/5.

 I knock half a point off because i know I'm going to have to repurchase it when it gets tatty, as it isn't the most high quality wig in the world, but that's to be expected. Also it gets point knock offs for being called LaJay. (No offence to anyone called LaJay. Well, you're already offended by now. Anyhoo). Why not call her Kemi? Or even a cliched Nefertiti or something? But LaJay? Really?

I'll be doing part 2 of natural relaxers soon, so watch this space x

How to trim your hair: Avoiding hairdressers, saving dollars

I say all the time that black hairdressers are the devil. Obviously, this is in jest, because there is a real devil ( I believe) , who is not involved in the dressing of hair. However, they do say many a truth is said in jest. There are many good black hairdressers I believe, but when it comes to natural hair most hairdressers get a bit frightened and either run away, attack your hair with a comb, or attempt to coerce you into relaxing/ straightening.
That long intro was basically to say -  this post is about how to trim your hair yourself.

How often should I trim my hair?

Every 6-8 weeks, maybe a bit more or a bit less depending on how easily your hair gets damaged.  I trim every time my hair comes out a protective style, which is every 4 weeks or so.

Will trimming my hair make it grow longer?

Nope, that's a myth. It will however, make sure your ends are healthier so that you are likely to retain length better and your hair ill have the illusion of being thicker and healthier due to the healthy ends.

What will I need?:

1. Sharp Hair Scissors (you can buy these from ebay or Amazon for around £10. Do NOT use scissors that you use to cut paper etc. The dull blades will damage your ends.)
2. Hair :-)

Method 1: Dusting

This is a pretty simple method. If your hair is in small braids or twists on your own hair, just trim the ends of each small braid or twist looking carefully for splits...this is good because it allows you to get feel of the condition of your whole hair, and also makes sure that you pretty much trim every section.
I usually divide my hair into four big braids (i.e. I twist the small twists/braids into 4 overall big braids), and do each section at a time.

Picture from www.thenaturalgirlsguidetobeauty.com

2) Straighten, then trim.

Many naturals prefer this method, because it doubles as a length check. I've done this once about 6 years ago, when I was still fine with using heat. I don't advise it because I think generally, natural hair and heat don't mix, but if you are ok with using heat, then this ones for you.

3) Section trim

This is just the lazy method I use most of the time. When my hair is out in a fro, I divide my hair into sections and just trim split ends or damaged ends as I see them. The only problem with this method is that you might well miss bits, or trim too much at ne time.

Lastly, if you want a proper cut (as in a style, not trimming), then a natural hair dresser is probably your best bet. Adornment365 in Brixton is the only one I've been to. I did feel they treated my hair a bit harshly when combing, but the customer service was fantastic.

Peace, Love and Hair grease folks xx

'Natural' Relaxers/ Perms...what's the deal?? Part 1

Recently, on my travels through blog-land, and also my frequent trips to youtube-city, I've been hearing a lot of chit chat about natural relaxers. These are products people hope will have a similar effect to relaxers, but sans the chemicals. Yes, you too can finally get bouncin' and behavin' hair minus the burns, weird smell and corrosive toilet cleaner strength liquid. Or can you?

I'm initially skeptical about this. Firstly because our hair, although fragile, isn't prone to changing from lovely coils and ringlets to sleek straightness without something rather strong - whether that be heat or chemicals. I wouldn't say that I'm a product junky - it's not my crack, but I have tried out a couple of things, and nothing, be that natural or petroleum laden, has ever been able to alter my curl that dramatically.

Secondly, because this is AGAIn feeding into the idea that our hair texture needs to be 'fixed'. The problem with relaxers is not just the dangerous chemicals, but also the insidious insinuation (like that one?), that 'nappy' hair is unattractive, man-repelling, unmanageable mess that can be changed with a magical box of goo.

Despite this, I'm willing to investigate a little before writing them off. So let's take a look at the claims of some of these natural relaxers.First off, the Bodiphier,  a 'natural' relaxer that can be bought  at www.freshlookhair.com. It says "the BodiPhier cannot make hair look "totally straight" like relaxers do", but it can give you "soft, manageable, bouncy hair..the new way to relax hair". Hmmm. Ok. Let's check out the ingredients:

BodipHier Ingredients: Purified Alkaline Water, 100% Natural Soda Ash & Minerals, 100% Natural Citric, 100% Natural Menthol, Cetyl Wax, Emulsifying Wax, Petrolatum, Mineral Oil, Lanotrol, Volpo 10, Methyl Paraben, Propyl Paraben, 100% Natural Protein Powder, Shea Butter, 100% Natural Protein Oil, 100% Natural Soy Bean Oil, and Fragrance. 

This looks fairly innocent. The claim that it's not as harsh as normal relaxers is true..there s no sodium hydroxide or something of a similar strength. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean it's good for your hair. The first ingredient, alkaline water is definitely not 100 percent safe. The Beauty Brains, a scientific website that investigates beauty products says  "The key active ingredient is soda ash, also known as sodium carbonate, which is an alkaline material used in a variety of industrial applications from food preparation to pool sanitization. Sodium carbonate raises the pH of the product and allows it to soften the chemical bonds that connect the protein fibrils in hair. Once these chemical bonds are broken, or relaxed, the hair becomes straighter....Bodiphier’s pH is 12, which is a bit lower than most relaxers that tend to be 12 to 13."

So basically, it's a weak relaxer. So basically, it's too good to be true.

However, there are other natural relaxer companies that make similar claims...I'll investigate these more in part two. Until then, be careful! Just because something claims to be natural, doesn't mean that it is - do your research.

Peace, Love and Hair Grease folks xx

Product Review: Anita Grant Whipped Butter

So I used this stuff ages and ages ago when I was like 14 or 15 and although it was impressive, I wasn't impressed enough to repurchase. I was also on a 15 year old budget. Whoooaa massive mistake (not being 15 and on a budget, I mean massive mistake not repurchasing)...I tried it again this year because it was on sale at www.britishcurlies.com for  £4 a jar. Wowzers. This stuff is soooo good. It smells great too in my opinion - I had the Monoi de Tahiti version which smells like flowery coconut. It's a buttery texture (duh), but very light a fluffy, almost like frosting.


Ingredients: non-destructive palm oil,unrefined murumuru butter,unrefined shea butter,unrefined cupuacu butter,vegetable glycerin,vitamin E & LOVE (that's what it says on the jar!)

Pros:

• Very Moisturising
• Smells great
• All natural ingredients
• Leaves hair super shiny
• British black owned business :-) (gotta support the Brits)

Cons:

• Potentially a bit greasy
• Normal price is quite expensive, especially if you're paying for shipping to the U.S.

Overall it gets 4 and little bit more outta 5!

Definitely try this one out.

Peace, Love and Hair Grease folks xx

New Years Resolve

Happy 2012!
We're coming to the end of January, but I haven't blogged for a ages, mainly due to January exams and the madness that is Christmas and New Year. Although it's a bit late in the day, i thought I;d share with you all my New Year's resolutions.

This year, I resolve to:

1) Love

I will spend time act day getting to know Love. I will prioritise Love above anything else, placing Him as the centre of every activity and the motivator for every action and reaction. As I get to know Love better, Love will teach me to love myself fully and completely, and most importantly, teach me how to love others as fully and completely as I love myself. God is Love.

2)Live
I will treasure time as something precious, valuable and finite, and will dance in each moment of it as freely as I can, realising that I will only get that moment once. I will see new sights, smell new smells and receive new thoughts and ideas with reckless abandon. I will open my heart to peace, joy, unselfishness, humility and courage, and close my heart to pride, hatred, bitterness, worry and self-righteousness.

3)Laugh

I will try to see the bright side of every situation, and dig deep enough to find laughter in the little things, and share the laughter with others.

4)Learn

I will let Love grab hold of regret and bitterness, and take instead wisdom, understanding, and knowledge of lessons learnt. I will choose to view setbacks as stepping stones, and welcome criticism as a way of refining me. I will choose to be welcoming of information from others,  viewing everyone as someone who has something valuable to teach me, regardless of age, colour or religion. I will choose to learn to open my mind in order to learn how to close it to things that are harmful or not useful to me.

So, those are my resolutions. They're non specific, but they are real, and I'll  try to remember them as I go throughout this year. What are your resolutions?

Peace, Love and Hair grease folks xx

Taking Care of your hair in winter

Winter is hellish for natural hair if you're not careful. Cold air, sometimes dry air, full blast heaters, wind that tangles your curls, and wooly hats that tangle up your ends. What's a girl to do?

Never fear, I am here with tips to surround your hair with loveliness.

1) Protect your ends

Collars, hats and scarves all rub against your ends and cause split ends, knots and breakage. Keep your ends away from your collar by wearing updos or a high bun. Alternatively, use a silk scarf over your collar, old lady style :-)

High bun .....www.agrlcanmac.com

Throw a scarf over jumpers, coats etc so that the ends of your hair rub on the scarf rather than the fabric of the coat or jacket.

Make sure you keep your ends moisturised. Spray, moisturise, seal with an oil or butter.

2) Find a good moisturiser

Moisturisers that work in warmer months might not work in winter. Thicker oils, butters and creams are often good for winter months, such as shea butter, castor oil, or a thick leave in. Depending on your climate, humectants such as glycerin might not be as effective in winter due to the lack of moisture in the air, but I've found that glycerin works fine for my climate in winter.

Donna MarieSuper Buttercreme - get at www.britishcurlies.com

3) Keep your hair in protective styles

Winter is that time to rock all your twists, braids, buns, updos, extensions - weaves (although I'm quite anti straight weave).

Long kinky twist extensions\

Charlotte's pompadour

Hayley's updo

4) Keep your hair covered, protect it from the cold.

Hats, turbans and scarves are great for winter. If you decide to wear a wooly hat, make sure you keep your hair protected by using a silk scarf under your hair, or lining the inside of your hat with silk/satin material.

My turban attempt

www.thebeautyhero.com

5) Go easy on the heaters - try and wear a scarf inside the house if you;re going to have the heating on full blast, and spray your hair regularly to keep moisture levels up.

Peace, Love and Hair Grease folks xx

Product Review: Lush Curly Wurly Shampoo

I'll get straight to the point for once. Free sample from Lush, Curly Wurly Shampoo, Used it, it failed - here's why.

So Lush Curly Wurly has these ingredients:

Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate,Desiccated Coconut,Cetearyl Alcohol,Propylene Glycol, Water,Fresh Organic Lemon Juice, Glyceryl Stearate & PEG-100 Stearate,Perfume, Linseed Infusion,Fresh Papaya, Lauryl Betaine, Fresh Free Range Eggs, Cocoa Butter, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, Shea Butter,Organic Jojoba Oil,Avocado Butter, Vanilla Absolute, Vetivert Oil,Benzoin Resinoid,Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Alkanet Extract,Lanolin, Cetrimonium Bromide, *Coumarin.



Sounds decent right?? It sure is, apart from the DESSICATED COCONUT - not sure what smart Lush product creator decided that having a shampoo for curly hair was the ticket for putting chunks of flaky coconut in it. Bad idea Lush, bad idea. I rarely if ever have had to say that about Lush by the way, they usually have great stuff.


This shampoo made my hair clean albeit a bit dry-ish, and I spent ages getting coconut bits out of my hair. It has a gorgeous smell though, and good ingredients. I'm really upset it didn't work :-(.

 Guys, try this at your peril....

Peace, Love and Hair Grease....xxx

Is natural hair just a trend?

So recently there has been a DELUGE (I like that word) - an INUNDATION (like that word too) of naturalism  (this is not a real word) :-). 

I know more naturals now than I've ever known in my life - and my life has been 21 years long. So many of my friends are going natural, even people who I thought would never rock the natural look. I'm happy, pleasantly surprised, and relieved that people are beginning to see the natural light. Or are they??

I've been natural all my life, so I've never had to 'transition' per se, but the mental transition that  I undertook on the road to accepting my hair was definitely a big one.

At 14 years old, when I decided I was going to wear my hair in a throwback Angela Davis style afro, it definitely wasn't the norm. I got laughed at by friends (mostly male friends), had stuff thrown in my hair, and was told by teachers at school that I wasn't 'there to make a statement'. There definitely wasn't a natural community that I felt was rooting for me.  I had to constantly fight the straight or long lose curl ideal that was pushed at me constantly. 

As I got older, and learnt to take care of my hair better, I usually got nothing but love for my hair from people, but it was still seen as something very unique, out there and a bit quirky.

Now, celebrities, corporate CEO's, doctors artists  - everyone, is going natural. I'm glad that people going natural now have better products, a bigger support base and more positive affirmation (although we've still got a long way to go), but I'm hoping that the mental transition that I  had to undertake when I went on the journey to accepting my unique texture is an experience they have also. 

My qualm is that when something is extremely popular, it's easier to not think about the meaning behind it as much. 

For example, the afro of the 70's was  political statement for many, but was also a massive fashion trend. The 80's came, and a lot of the revolutionary 'black is beautiful' seemed to be left behind in the decade before, as everyone jerri curled and relaxed their afros. Even women who I respect tremendously for their part in the civil rights movement of the 70's such as Elaine Brown, (former leader of the Panther Party) I've seen recently with relaxed hair. I don't necessarily think they 'de-enlightened', themselves at all, but it just goes to prove my point that something like natural hair, can become a trend jut as anything else can.

I guess what I'm asking is, is it a problem if someone goes natural, not from a massive journey of self acceptance, but just from a simple - I like afro's at the moment, that's my look for this year? 

Strangely, I have less of a problem with it that one might think. I think any period of time that  black woman is not using a relaxer, for any reason is a good thing. Creamy crack is whack.....

Having said that, I really hope that the 'trend' we're seeing at the moment is much more than a trend for the next couple of years, but a mass awakening that will help little black girls look at their Mum's natural hair and say - 'Mummy, when I grow up, I want my hair to look just like yours'.

Peace, Love and Hair Grease folks! xxx

Old School Inspiration

The Afro's back in the day were on point. Nuff said....

www.tribe.net

(www.afroglitz.com)

 The beautiful Marsha Hunt

 Angela Davis (www.myblackaustin.com)

Peace, Love and Hair Grease folks xx

Black Girl Walking

“Yo, buff ting, ya looking nice today, still’. I walk past the bus stop, eyes focused on the crossing a few steps ahead. “Psst, psst - eh gorgeous, can I talk with you”, the thick West African accent cuts through my thoughts, and I glance to my side to be greeted with a smile, and a phone grasped by an expectant hand. I smile back weakly - ‘no, thanks’, and continue to walk briskly, while an angry voice shouts ‘You’re not that nice anyway!’ in my direction. I roll my eyes, slightly embarassed at the looks of vaguely amused passers-by. It’s nothing new - I’m just another black women, walking another street, in another town that could be anywhere in the world. 

I’ve been to Jamaica, America, Chad, Guadeloupe, and I happen live in England. They all have unique cultural habits, ethnic mixes, foods, outlooks and landscapes. One thing is for certain though - anywhere where there are black men, I can guarantee I will be approached by a random member of the male species who feels that it is his privilege- no, inalienable right, to have an awkward conversation with me that he hopes will inevitably end in the exchange of numbers and ensuing ‘hook up’ or date. Unfortunately for him, all he will receive is a polite ‘no thank you’, or depending on the manner he decides to approach me, a complete lack of response.

Why so harsh? you ask. How is a man supposed to find a good black women? Answer: Generally, not on the street.  As a black woman, I feel embarrassed, violated and intimidated when someone aggressively follows me and then demands that they have my number. There have been cases where I’ve been approached in a manner that hasn’t been intimidating. I’ve had simple compliments -‘I like your hair’ or ‘Sis, you look beautiful’, that made me smile, and in no way offended me, but sadly, they don’t form the majority of my experiences. 

I’ve travelled a fair amount in my short years, and no matter which country I’ve been to, I’ve noticed that white women don’t seem to have  to face similar interactions with their male counterparts. Sure, in certain areas you’ll get the odd builder wolf whistling from a wall, or on a night out a short skirt will attract a fair amount of cat calls, but day to day, I rarely see white guys stopping white women at random on the street and then hurling abuse at them if they refuse to entertain conversation. I refuse to believe that white women carry themselves in a way that commands so much more respect than I do, so what is it that makes (a large number) of black men feel that their behaviour is acceptable, or even strangely attractive? More worryingly, what in the psyche of these men tells them that a respectable woman would give her details out to someone who has quite obviously been malingering on a random street corner in order to solicit numbers? Or maybe these men are purposely looking for women who aren’t respectable, which makes me me even more concerned. Perhaps I should flip the question around and ask, what is it about black women that makes men feel that it’s ok to treat us like this? Someone, help me out here.

My Grandfather’s generation had a completely different mode of interacting with females than this generation, so I’m not sure I would be honest in just blaming my experiences on  the standard ‘psychological effects of slavery on black male - female interactions’. Maybe it’s a reflection of the general moral breakdown in society. Maybe the fact that the media portrays black woman as sexual playthings at every available opportunity also plays a role. It could be the fact that more black men grow up without a father at home now, than ever before, and so are at a loss as to how to interact with women on a meaningful level. Maybe it’s a combination of all these factors.

All I know is that I’m tired of having my daily routine interrupted by every Tyrone, Dick and Harry that wants some ‘digits’ from me. I love black men, but I wish they could show me some love by showing a little more respect.

Natural Hair Pet Peeves

I love my hair. Repeat. I LOVE MY HAIR. Sometimes, however, it can cause a wee bit of trouble. So here are my natural pet peeves ......

1) That first day after I wash my hair and it just refuses to cooperate.

2) The fact that I am constantly tempted to buy new products, and that a new natural product line springs up every 5 minutes, eliciting even more temptation.

3)Repeat number 2.

4)Detangling - I just really can't be bothered. I'm so lazy, it happens once a week if my hair is lucky.

5)The fact that 'normal' products always have petroleum, mineral oil or something else my hair doesn't agree with. Hence no.2 again.

6)I am apparently an exotic form of tropical mammal, because everyone seems to feel entitled to touch my hair.

7) Single strand knots.Ugh. Knots in general. Ugh

8)Ugly protective styles that make me look like an extra from Roots. (not all protective styles are ugly - but the bigger and easier the braids/twists on me, the worse they look)

9) Being seen as revolutionary just for being me.

10) My hair getting caught in velcro. Maybe that's just all hair though.

But....I still LOVE my hair. Wouldn't trade it for the world:-).

Peace, Love and hair Grease folks :-)

Trend: Chunky Box Braids

Anyone remember these (Janet J)??  Well, long chunky box braids are definitely the new trend at the mo. Now frankly, I don't care for trends or fashion - wear what you wanna wear regardless of what's in, but I do love this look. Here are a few pics to inspire.

Janet Jackson 

Solange

Solange again

Third time's a charm...

 Brandy (from cocoandcreme.com)

Jada - with a great updo.

A model with extra chunky braids

Solange again...with a lovely bun....

Tips:

1. You don't have to use really expensive hair - I found that the cheap synthetic hair worked fine. Obviously, if you can afford human hair, then it's better for your hair so go for it. ( I have my personal qualms about the whole human hair thing actually, but that's another post)
2. Don't do them too tight - tight braids damage the hairline and cause traction alopecia.
3. Moisturise daily with a spritz - water, glycerin, essential oils, conditioner.
4. Keep them chunky...it's better for your hair.

Disclaimer: Although I do post certain celebrities for their hairstyles please note I am by no means endorsing their music, lifestyle etc...it's just that getting permission to post pics from 'normal' people is a lot less easy.

Peace, Love and Hair grease folks!! xxx